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Writing concisely — exercise from February

Without eliminating any essential ideas, revise the following sentences to make them more concise. Consider whether each word or phrase is necessary or might be shortened.

1. The article, which is titled “In Praise of Brevity,” was labeled by most readers as biased.

2. Ticket prices were more expensive this year, ranging from $20 to $25, whereas last year’s tickets ranged from $15 to $20.

3. It is essential that she make a decision to make her first semester at college – and all of her semesters – productive.

4. On rainy days, there are few indoor areas on campus that are not constantly occupied by students.

5. The scene at the beginning of the film is important to our later understanding of the two different personalities at war in Gollum’s head.

6. Amid the wide variety of French dining restaurants in Seattle, Marcel’s Café does not stand out from its competition

7. There is a tendency among students, many of whom may be seen to display anxiety at exam time, to cram more words into sentences in the hopes of impressing professors with the sheer bulk of their responses.

 

 

 

 

 

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